Our Twins And Their Journey

PLEASE NOTE: For up to date posts please see the HOME page!

Sadly I have not touched this blog since 2008 and lots and lots has changed in that time. We now live in Houston Texas and absolutely love every minute of it. 

If you are reading this blog it's more than likely because I have pointed you to it during a particular difficult time in our lives. So let me start at the beginning to bring everyone up to speed.

Bianca and I were married March 3, 2007 and started trying to have kids about a year later. Since we have been in Houston we have been through 2 IUI treatments and 2 IVF procedures with the second IVF treatment resulting in a wonderful pregnancy of two twins. We have been anxiously awaiting their arrival and talking about names since January of this year. As we have yet to learn the sex of the babies we had hollywood nick named them JIANCA and BR :-) (side note: we were suppose to learn the sex of each this Friday, but as you will read didn't happen and we still don't know)

Friday May 24th, Bianca started to notice some discharge and clear fluid which made her a bit nervous. As it was Memorial Day weekend, we called the doctor and set an appointment to see him as soon as possible on Tuesday. (We had a previously scheduled appoint for Friday of this same week). I left work a bit early and went to pick up Bianca for our quick visit which I was sure that would last no more than a few minutes and we would be off to Sam's and do our weekly tasks. 

Our OB saw us right away and after a very short consult announced to us that Bianca was in full on labor and had been for some time now. Bianca had been dilating and was completely open for a delivery soon. We were both shocked and in complete denial as we had assumed something simple was wrong and nothing like this. There had been no cramping, no bleeding, and no real discomfort previous to this. We were shortly run over to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital and admitted. 

So here comes everything we have been through so far...

5/24/2013 3:45PM CDT...

We are admitted and are given an ultra sound to see exactly what is going on. Our OB has also called ahead for a high risk pregnancy specialist consult. At this point Bianca is 20 weeks 6 days. Most NICU patients have at least 24 weeks under their belt before they are admitted. Our babies had over 3 weeks to go and in pregnancy time that is an eternity. 

Ultra sound results...

Our OB came back a short time later to let us know what he and the tech could see on the ultra sound films. Bianca was indeed in labor and that fluid she felt was Baby A's amniotic fluid as her water had broken. We now know that Bianca has what is known as an Incompetent Cervix (Cervical Insufficiency). As this is our first pregnancy there was no way of telling before hand that she had this condition. She had no pain, cramps or warning signs other then the clear fluid. 

What this means for our twins...

Well this is the hard part for us, Baby A has descended well into the vaginal canal and is at the point of delivery (remember this is 2 days ago now). Baby B is still very high in the uterus and has a complete and full amniotic sack. At this point there is little to nothing we can do for Baby A as they cannot grow in their current state and may not survive with out fluid (there are cases of babies surviving without amniotic fluid and cases where the sack closes again and refills, however none that we have read or the doctors can find once the baby has descended. So with that there is no way to perform a reverse c-section (putting the baby back into the uterus). 

Issue number 2 - Twins are sort of a package deal and as such once Baby A delivers there is an extremely high chance Baby B will want to join in the party and be delivered as well. If the babies had reached 24 weeks we would be looking at very different scenarios, but as it stands, both our specialist and OB have advised us that the likelihood of 21 weekers surviving outside the womb is slim to none. 

Issue number 2 1/2 - We cannot induce Bianca to get Baby A out as that is to ensure Baby B will be delivered as well.

Issue number 3 - If Baby A does not deliver on their own and passes away while still in the cervix/vaginal canal doctors will be forced to remove them as there is a greater chance of severe infection that could hurt Baby B. 

Issue number 3 1/2 - If they do remove Baby A there is a high chance it will cause Baby B to induce either way and we are back at issue 2.5

So where we are now and what we can hope for...

Best Case Scenario - Baby A delivers naturally and the cervix closes on its own allowing time for Baby B to continue growing to term. There are lots of variables in this such as the placenta coming out and Baby B not descending during contractions.

Worst Case Scenario - Baby A either is delivered naturally or passes and is forced delivered causing Baby B to deliver as well and not survive outside the womb. 

In both cases there is little nothing we can do for Baby A. 

Bianca and I are extremely heart broken over this, however it is a reality that we are faced with and are during everything we can to cope. Obviously this is something we can't completely do yet as there are so many variables at play. (this is a summary of how we are feeling of course, if I were to write down all of the tears we have shed and the prayers and frustration it would never end I think. We have a child that is more than likely not going to survive and I cannot put into words how that feels. We keep hope and pray, and trust in the Lord which is all we can do).

Catching up to today...

This was all Tuesday evening and today is now Thursday evening so what happened in between.

Bianca had a rough night, but got through it and Baby A was still there with a good strong heart beat, but losing the little fluid still left very quickly. After speaking with the specialist I asked if we had a matter of hours, days, weeks, months and was told to expect hours and she would deliver on her own. 

We would have some time with our precious little baby and once passed I would need to start looking at funeral arrangements. (As our babies are past 20 weeks they would no longer be considered miscarriages and we can give them a funeral service and a burial). I have since started working on these arrangements  which I can honestly say is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. 

All day Wednesday we were slow waiting for anything to happen really. Bianca started having strong contractions about a minute apart and we both felt that it was time. We called our nurse and were given the pain medication option which Bianca opted out of an epidermal. Once pain meds were administered through an IV the contractions began to slow down, Bianca obviously felt less pain and low and behold everything just sort of stopped off again. We have now had at least 3 of those little shows and still nothing.

Wednesday night late, my wonderful Mother in Law arrived and was able to relieve me for a bit. She has stayed by Bianca day and night as only a mother could and has been wonderful to have. Wednesday afternoon our great Bishop came by as well and helped me give my wife and our children a much needed blessing (I had given her one before, but it was nice to have someone else with me). He also gave me a blessing which reconfirmed to me the power of the priesthood. 

I went home to an empty house which was not the best of ideas and got maybe an hour or two of sleep and came right back.

05/30/2013 Thursday...

Baby A has descended a bit further however, is still in and we heard a very strong heartbeat. We have meet with our high risk specialist who was glad she was wrong and Baby A is still there and our OB has come as well letting us know that we are good with waiting things out. As long as Baby A is still alive we want to wait as long as possible.

My own personal thought and prayer is that Baby A knows exactly what is going on and is holding on as long as possible to give their sibling the best chance at growing. I know they came here together and will do anything to take care of each other. So many times have I whispered to them to take care of each other on this earth, and they are doing just that. I could not ask for better children!

My favorite (and only) sister arrived today to help me with some of logistical things and I am so happy to see her.

This is kind of the summary of what is going on now, and I will do my best to update this as often as possible. There are a few more things going on right now, but I will post them shortly.

I did want to thank all of our family and friends who have offered words of encouragement as well as our Edox family who have all jumped in to cover me at this time.   Special thanks today to Jarrod and Michelle for taking care of our awesomely dumb dogs and for paying the lawn people as the HOA is about to kill me, to Michael and Becky for coming by to see us and help me with the funeral arrangements and for picking up my sister at the airport. To James and Kevin for stopping by to make sure we were ok and give me some of the best counsel a guy could ask for. To TJ for reaching out to me even though he was half way around the world and I am not even sure how he found a phone. To my dear friend Allison who inspired us to write this as we have so intently followed her miracle baby Grant's story on her blog. To Katie for taking the time to reach out to our family and pass along information to our team in Phoenix. Of course our Bishop Felipe Calderon for coming to help me give one of the most important blessings ever, and my mother in law and sister for their labor of love to be with us (and Vicky who was nice enough to pick up my mother in law from the airport). If I have left anyone else out I am so sorry, but my heart is so full of gratitude and thanksgiving that in our time of trials so many people have reached out to us. 

We love you all and appreciate your prayers!
-JR